Life is a Roller Coaster...

I have been silent for some time on purpose.  Some things had been up in the air and there was no point in putting all of you through the same crazy roller coaster I was going through until there were answers or completion.

Sadly, neither of those things have come to fruition so I'm just gonna put it all out there and know that it could be some time before one of those two events above happen (answers or completion).

Within a few weeks after Jared signed up for the Marines and had his date of when he would be going to boot camp he found love.

Her name is Suzy and she is wonderful!  She is sweet, kind, intelligent, respectful, thoughtful and very cute!  All-in-all I think she is an awesome addition to Jared's life, and ours occasionally.

There may be some of you out there that are going "uh oh"... and that would be the right response.

Now Jared has changed his mind and does not want to join the Marines. Welcome to the mind and heart of an 18 year old "adult". HA!

It was difficult enough to wrap my mind, and my heart, around his decision to join the Marines and then I sit there after he makes that announcement having to say the following words that I never thought I would have to say, "Maybe you should follow through on your commitment and give it a shot.  Besides, I don't think you can 'quit' once you've signed the paperwork."

He went ahead and talked to his recruiter, who is skilled at such things.  My new joke, which really isn't that funny, except in my mind is, "What is the most stubborn thing on the planet?  A Marine."  The recruiter did give Jared 3 options, but Jared could only remember the specifics on 2 of them, not quite remembering the words he used for the 3rd one.  Here they are:

1. Delay your boot camp until after the holidays.  So start in the new year.
2. Change from enlisted to reserves (with, or without a delay in the boot camp).
3. Jared does not remember his words but the interpretation in his mind was that he could quit.

The recruiter told Jared to go home and take some time to think things through and that he would talk with him in a couple of weeks.

Well, the couple of weeks came and went...and Jared has been spending most of his time with Suzy at her college down in South Carolina (anywhere from 3-5 days a week).  And he still wants to quit... I know, shocking!?!

So he went back to talk with the recruiter who asked him again.  Jared told him he wants to quit.  The Sergeant said no, he won't let him.  That he needs more time to think.   So more time has passed and he went back again and spoke to someone "higher up" in the recruiting center who told Jared he won't let him quit but he will switch him over to the Reserves.

And that, my good people, is where we are at.

Jared is understandably upset and at a loss as to what to do.  We, Shannon and I, are at a loss on what to tell him other than what we think.  Jared does not seem to like our answer, but, we keep saying it in different ways - hoping that it might sink in at some point.

Our answer is - switch to the reserves.  There was some part of him that really wanted to be a Marine, and probably still does underneath it all.  It's less of a commitment then enlisted and they still help pay for some college, but not all college.  Then when he's not "being a Marine" he can have a part time job and go to the community college nearby to get some of the basic classes out of the way and still have free time to visit with Suzy and hang out with her during her breaks.

Just when I thought that hearing my son say he has joined the Marine's was one of the hardest things to deal with it only got more complicated!  I want so badly to fix this for him, but he was deteremined enough to prove that he was an adult, could make an adult decision and, though he knew we were not excited about this path (for a million reasons) that, if this was what he was totally sure was what he wanted, that we would support him and that we were proud of him.

Now I sit there looking at this 18 year old young adult and sigh and shake my head and think, "Boy, if we would only listen to the adults around us that love us we wouldn't get into such messes at 18 years old!" HA!  Remembering all the stupid things I did that, I thought I knew what I was doing... I'm finally an adult.... no one can tell me what to do... and on, and on, and on!

Unlike cutting my apron strings with Alex because of the distance, this one is tougher because he's still living here at home and looking to us for help and guidance... but I need to shove aside the nagging, painful need to "fix this" and just sit back and watch it all play out.

That's it for today.  At this point I probably won't be posting much more about Jared until there are answers or completion...  stay tuned folks!

Yellow Jackets...

...and I don't mean the clothes.

It seems we had an infestation of yellow jackets inside the wall of our house.

Jared came downstairs saying that he is hearing some strange scratching noises inside the wall in his bedroom.  That he had banged the wall with the flat of his hand and it actually caved in some, though not completely open.

So Shannon went upstairs to take a look.  He poked his thumb into the indentation that Jared's hand had made in the wall and the next thing I hear are screams coming from upstairs... that, and cursing!  Seems Shannon stuck his thumb into a yellow jacket nest in the wall of Jared's bedroom!

He and Jared immediately came out of Jared's bedroom and quickly closed the door as the bees seemed to be a bit angry, and now had an opening to come inside the house.

Jared and I quickly got on our shoes and went to home depot to get some bee killing spray.  When we came home Shannon was bundled up in a hilarious fashion.  I wish I had a photo of it but sadly I didn't think of it at the time.

He was completely bundled up in a winter jacket, goggles over his glasses, a winter hat with some kind of plastic wrap covering the rest of his face so he was protected, boots and his black leather fencing gloves to top it off!  There wasn't an ounce of flesh left exposed for the yellow jackets to easily get their stingers on.

We handed him the first of three large cans of spray and back up into the fray he went.  As he sprayed all the lose bees he yelled out that he needed a hammer to get better access to the nest in the wall so Jared bravely grabbed the hammer and went inside to give to Shannon.

After he emptied the first can we gave him a second one and a flashlight so he could make sure he was saturating the nest inside the wall.

Needless to say, we have some cleaning up to do.  Jared had to launder all his clothes and bedding that got sprayed.  Jared also kindly vacuumed up the dead bodies littering the floor and has temporarily moved into Alex's room until we clean it all up and repair the wall.

Here are the photos of the aftermath...

Apron Strings

Alex has made it!  And boy, what an adventure he had to just get there.  If you haven't already read his adventure of just getting there you can read his blog here: http://alexwileytravels.blogspot.com/

For me it has been incredibly emotional with having our first child heading out into the big world!  I really thought I was going to be okay and was ready for this but when the time came it hurt more than I had imagined.  These past few days I was having a hard time putting my finger on what exactly was creating the maelstrom of emotions. Then, when I posted my worries on facebook, a wonderful person put a message on there that helped "click" something inside and I was able to take a deep breath and let the emotions wash over me and float away.

That, along with reading what Alex experienced and how he managed to get through it and be safe, sound and finally where he needed to be, was the answer to finish out the cutting of those 'apron strings' that I did not realize I had!

So thank you Kim Allsup for imparting your wisdom so eloquently to help me work through and come out the other side feeling secure, at peace and excited for Alex's adventures in life!

If you are curious as to what she said that helped here it is: "When our son was just a bit older than Alex he also lived in Ireland for a time. But he announced before he left that he would not give us a way to contact him directly and that his phone calls and emails would be sparse...which they were. I may be the worlds most easy to freak out parent but somehow I got through this and in the process became able to trust Ben to take care of himself. Now he travels far and wide and frequently... Just back from France, the Antarctic for Christmas.  And somehow over time I just became ok with this."

For some of you this may not do much for you but, specifically it was the "... in the process became able to trust Ben to take care of himself." that was the key.  And it's not that I don't trust Alex or Jared, but that I could trust that they had become responsible adults who will figure it out and manage on their own, which is what they are supposed to do!

For those of you who still have younger children and think whatever you are experiencing or going through is difficult - it is all in preparation for when they finally head out and be the human being they are supposed to be - and, hopefully, you can be in a place to step back and watch it happen with out worrying yourself to death!

Alex is in Ireland!  Actually in Ireland - living there for a whole year!  How awesome is that!  I am so excited for him.  He will have amazing adventures and stories to share for years to come.  And I am blessed to be able to share that with him!

Alex is almost on his way...

We will be taking Alex to the airport tomorrow morning before going to work.  This should be so mundane and normal and yet my heart continues to have palpitations and my stomach is doing flip flops and butterflies like you cannot even begin to understand.

It seems that he will not get a chance to visit his friend in Boston, so he will be stuck at the Boston Logan airport for about 10 hours tomorrow before he take his next flight to Frankfurt, Denmark for yet another long layover for 10 hours to take his last flight from Frankfurt to Dublin!

Sadly, when he lands in Dublin it will be to late to take the last bus to Callan and will actually have to spend his first night in Dublin in the freaking Dublin airport!  He will be taking a bus early the next morning Sept. 6th to Callan and start his year of service at the Ballytobin Camphill in County Kilkenny, Ireland.

I'm hoping he gets enough sleep on the plane flight from Boston to Frankfurt that he'll be well rested to hang out with all the amazing amenities that the Frankfurt Airport has to offer - like showers, massages, banks and even gambling!  All within the confines of the security side of the airport!

Then from there he will get any more sleep he needs from 11pm in Dublin time (4am our time) until 6am when he can catch the first bus out from Dublin to Callan!

There is so much more that I want to say but none of it will make any sense to most.  The feelings and emotions are swirling around in absolute chaos.  I have loved and guided and raised Alex for the past 19 years and to let go is the hardest thing I've ever done!

I know it's not permanent and I know we'll have plenty of times to chat via skype and email and blog, but, the house will not be the same without Alex's presence from day-to-day and that's a hard pill to swallow for me!

I love him very much and want only the best for him.  His life is just starting as an adult and it is very exciting!  And yet there is a part of me that wants to have the Alex Wiley that was just starting kindergarten for the first time ever!

For those of you that want to know how to see what is happening with Alex in Ireland, here is his blog: http://alexwileytravels.blogspot.com/

Kelley